DAVID CAMERON, PICTURED WITH HIS MUM

Touted by many as being our next Prime Minister, David Cameron is urging the British people to “Vote for change”, but when that change involves electing a man that steals eggs from unsuspecting oviparous* animals, then maybe we need to ask ourselves – is it a change for the better?

*Oviparous means “egg-laying”, but then you wouldn’t know that because I’m more intelligent than you.

Yes indeed folks, David (not Dave – he doesn’t like being called Dave) Cameron was caught on video in the Antartic stealing eggs from Shirley Waddleplum, an emporer penguin, who is also a working class single mother.

THE VICTIM – SHIRLEY WADDLEPLUM

(She is putting on a brave face, but inside her heart is aching)

Said Ms Waddleplum, “I can’t believe anybody would be cruel enough to do something like.”

There are also rumours of David (don’t you dare call him Dave) stealing eggs of tortoises, ruthlessly exploiting the fact that their lack of speed inhibits them from chasing him in pursuit. However, unlike the incident with Shirley Waddleplum, we have no video footage to prove this and therefore we will simply say it is an allegation in order to avoid a potential lawsuit.

But we all know change does not come from voting for a conniving penguin egg thief, REAL change comes from voting in an in-bred simpleton who wears y-fronts and nothing else.

VOTE UNDERPANTS MAN!

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